* Previously posted to medium.com/@joncallum/ *
2017 marks the year my male privilege became blatantly apparent. A little background, I am aware of gender equality issues: The wage gap, gender-based violence, lack of women in prominent leadership roles, etc. I have been a keen supporter of movements to bridge the gender gap and have seen progress in my lifetime. As a somewhat educated millennium male, I never felt my gender gave me any significant privilege, being brought up with ideas of respect and equality, I have never knowingly exercised any inherent privileges I may have. That was until the revelations around Harvey Weinstein and other prominent men in positions of power. Discovering that certain men like to expose their penis to women was shocking, not the specific act itself, I am aware of the creepy guy in a dirty beige trench coat stereotype, but how often it went on in “real life” with “normal” guys. How men abuse their power and influence to: coerce, disturb and manipulate women for their own ends.
Discussing this with my female friends and discovering that this is not an uncommon event has had a profound effect on how I see gender equality issues. Linking with another phrase that came to prominence in recent years: “Locker room talk”. Linking the two together I can now see that some of what I have heard in conversations was potentially not a joke or brag made in bad taste, but rather an admission of inappropriate behaviour. An example of just how much society is de-conditioned to this type of language can be seen in the election of Donald Trump, who was caught on tape a month prior to his election engaging in exactly this behaviour and then using the term locker room talk as his excuse. This can be contrasted to when people have been caught on tape making racist remarks, leading to them losing their jobs and in most cases ending their careers.
Looking at gender equality and racial equality, however does provide hope for the future. The history of human society shows the continual march of progress. Where violence, bloodshed and genocidal acts were once celebrated as the height of civilisation (looking at you Julius Caesar), today we look back at these events as historical curiosities. A public hanging used to be a day out for the whole family. Up until 1789, burning at the stake was considered a civilised form of punishment for a woman, due to her being able to keep her clothes on during the execution. Before 1863 slavery was widely considered normal in the United States. The suffragettes and later the civil rights movement radically reshaped both countries social landscape in the 20th century. Today we live in a much more equal and tolerant society, then we have ever had before, yet we still have a long way to go.
The #MeToo movement has opened my eyes to the scale of the bullshit women have to navigate in modern life, as well as making me question how I could be so unaware. There are many areas where we need to make progress for true gender equality to exist. However fundamentally I believe we have to prioritise respect. Without respect for each other as human beings equality will never be achieved. This is why I am committing to never using the “B-word*” again. I’m also committing to challenging anyone else I hear using it. I hope that in five years time (or preferably sooner) we will allude to the “B-word” in the same way the “N-word”. Language is an incredibly powerful tool and helps shape how we see the world. In the same way, dismissing crass and disgusting comments as “locker room talk” is a way of normalising and justifying inappropriate behaviour, throwing around gender-based slurs as insults entrenches inequality.
This may seem a small thing and I think my responsibilities as a man extend beyond this small act. I would encourage everyone to educate themselves on gender equality issues, canvas a variety of opinions, listen, respect and attempt to understand their viewpoints. Change can only be achieved through action. Starting with a simple commitment to change remove words from the day to day lexicon may seem small, but it is a start on shifting perspectives. I hope when we look back on ourselves in 20 years time history will judge us as harshly as they judge those who dropped the “N-word” casually into conversation.
Footnotes :
- The “B-Word” is used here to represent a catch all for gendar slurs as it is the most common word acceptably in modern society.
- This article is aimed at all men from across the world, however it is written with a western, english speaking bias. I am not ignorant of other injustices and challenges present around the world, however I have opted to focus on the societies for which I am a part.
Bounded Rationality 